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Fortune

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-- Generation Time: Apr 26, 2006 at 07:10 AM
-- Server version: 5.0.18
-- PHP Version: 5.1.2
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-- Database: `notedev`
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--
-- Table structure for table `fortune`
--

CREATE TABLE `fortune` (
`id` int(10) unsigned NOT NULL auto_increment,
`fortune` text character set latin1 collate latin1_general_ci NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY  (`id`)
) ENGINE=MyISAM DEFAULT CHARSET=latin1 AUTO_INCREMENT=13570 ;

--
-- Dumping data for table `fortune`
--

INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (1, '7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)\n	The Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National\n	Redwood Forest.\n\n7:30, Channel 8: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)\n	The Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the\n	Mann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (2, 'A "critic" is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to\njudge the work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased \n-- he hates all creative people equally.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (3, 'A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (4, '	A circus foreman was making the rounds inspecting the big top\nwhen a scrawny little man entered the tent and walked up to him.  "Are \nyou the foreman around here?" he asked timidly.  "I''d like to join your\ncircus; I have what I think is a pretty good act."\n	The foreman nodded assent, whereupon the little man hurried over to\nthe main pole and rapidly climbed up to the very tip-top of the big top.\nDrawing a deep breath, he hurled himself off into the air and began flapping\nhis arms furiously.  Amazingly, rather than plummeting to his death the little\nman began to fly all around the poles, lines, trapezes and other obstacles,\nperforming astounding feats of aerobatics which ended in a long power dive\nfrom the top of the tent, pulling up into a gentle feet-first landing beside\nthe foreman, who had been nonchalantly watching the whole time.\n	"Well," puffed the little man.  "What do you think?"\n	"That''s all you do?" answered the foreman scornfully.  "Bird\nimitations?"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (5, 'A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned\nthings is ample.\n		-- Rebecca West\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (6, 'A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.\n		-- Whitney Balliett\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (7, 'A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (8, 'A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him\nwhat he meant.\n		-- Wilson Mizner\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (9, 'A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of\nmarble; then you chip away everything that doesn''t look like an elephant.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (10, '	A hard-luck actor who appeared in one coloossal disaster after another\nfinally got a break, a broken leg to be exact.  Someone pointed out that it''s\nthe first time the poor fellow''s been in the same cast for more than a week.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (11, 'A Hollywood producer calls a friend, another producer on the phone.\n	"Hello?" his friend answers.\n	"Hi!" says the man.  "This is Bob, how are you doing?"\n	"Oh," says the friend, "I''m doing great!  I just sold a screenplay\nfor two hundred thousand dollars.  I''ve started a novel adaptation and the\nstudio advanced me fifty thousand dollars on it.  I also have a television\nseries coming on next week, and everyone says it''s going to be a big hit!\nI''m doing *great*!  How are you?"\n	"Okay," says the producer, "give me a call when he leaves."\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (12, 'A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (13, '	A musical reviewer admitted he always praised the first show of a\nnew theatrical season.  "Who am I to stone the first cast?"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (14, '	A musician of more ambition than talent composed an elegy at\nthe death of composer Edward MacDowell.  She played the elegy for the\npianist Josef Hoffman, then asked his opinion.  "Well, it''s quite\nnice," he replied, but don''t you think it would be better if..."\n	"If what?" asked the composer.\n	"If ... if you had died and MacDowell had written the elegy?"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (15, 'A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (16, 'A rose is a rose is a rose.  Just ask Jean Marsh, known to millions of\nPBS viewers in the ''70s as Rose, the maid on the LWT export "Upstairs,\nDownstairs."  Though Marsh has since gone on to other projects, ... it''s\nwith Rose she''s forever identified.  So much so that she even likes to\njoke about having one named after her, a distinction not without its\ndrawbacks.  "I was very flattered when I heard about it, but when I looked\nup the official description, it said, `Jean Marsh: pale peach, not very\ngood in beds; better up against a wall.''  I want to tell you that''s not\ntrue.  I''m very good in beds as well."\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (17, 'A sequel is an admission that you''ve been reduced to imitating yourself.\n		-- Don Marquis\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (18, '	A shy teenage boy finally worked up the nerve to give a gift to\nMadonna, a young puppy.  It hitched its waggin'' to a star.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (19, 'A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.\n		-- Michael Winner, British film director\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (20, 'A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother\ndrudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art.\n		-- Shaw\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (21, 'A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call\nwhat he writes fiction.\n		-- William Faulkner\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (22, 'A yawn is a silent shout.\n		-- G.K. Chesterton\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (23, 'A young man wrote to Mozart and said:\n\nQ: "Herr Mozart, I am thinking of writing symphonies. Can you give me any\n   suggestions as to how to get started?"\nA: "A symphony is a very complex musical form, perhaps you should begin with\n   some simple lieder and work your way up to a symphony."\nQ: "But Herr Mozart, you were writing symphonies when you were 8 years old."\nA: "But I never asked anybody how."\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (24, 'Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (25, 'Acting is not very hard.  The most important things are to be able to laugh\nand cry.  If I have to cry, I think of my sex life.  And if I have to laugh,\nwell, I think of my sex life.\n		-- Glenda Jackson\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (26, 'Actor			Real Name\n\nBoris Karloff		William Henry Pratt\nCary Grant		Archibald Leach\nEdward G. Robinson	Emmanual Goldenburg\nGene Wilder		Gerald Silberman\nJohn Wayne		Marion Morrison\nKirk Douglas		Issur Danielovitch\nRichard Burton		Richard Jenkins Jr.\nRoy Rogers		Leonard Slye\nWoody Allen		Allen Stewart Konigsberg\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (27, 'Actors will happen even in the best-regulated families.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (28, 'Actresses will happen in the best regulated families.\n		-- Addison Mizner and Oliver Herford, "The Entirely\n		New Cynic''s Calendar", 1905\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (29, 'Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo.\n		-- actress Mary Pickford, 1925\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (30, 'Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something\nstrange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.\n		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (31, 'After a few boring years, socially meaningful rock ''n'' roll died out. It was\nreplaced by disco, which offers no guidance to any form of life more\nadvanced than the lichen family.\n		-- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don''t Know Dum Diddly Do"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (32, 'Alex Haley was adopted!\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (33, 'All art is but imitation of nature.\n		-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (34, 'An actor''s a guy who if you ain''t talkin'' about him, ain''t listening.\n		-- Marlon Brando\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (35, 'An artist should be fit for the best society and keep out of it.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (36, 'Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but\ntelevision''s message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and\nworld peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers\nwhiter teeth *___and* fresher breath.\n		-- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don''t Know Dum Diddly Do"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (37, 'Any dramatic series the producers want us to take seriously as a representation\nof contemporary reality cannot be taken seriously as a representation of\nanything -- except a show to be ignored by anyone capable of sitting upright\nin a chair and chewing gum simultaneously.\n		-- Richard Schickel\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (38, 'Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to sell it.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (39, '	"Are you police officers?"\n	"No, ma''am.  We''re musicians."\n		-- The Blues Brothers\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (40, 'Around the turn of this century, a composer named Camille Saint-Saens wrote\na satirical zoological-fantasy called "Le Carnaval des Animaux."  Aside from\none movement of this piece, "The Swan", Saint-Saens didn''t allow this work\nto be published or even performed until a year had elapsed after his death.\n(He died in 1921.)\n	Most of us know the "Swan" movement rather well, with its smooth,\nflowing cello melody against a calm background; but I''ve been having this\nfantasy...\n	What if he had written this piece with lyrics, as a song to be sung?\nAnd, further, what if he had accompanied this song with a musical saw?  (This\ninstrument really does exist, often played by percussionists!)  Then the\npiece would be better known as:\n	SAINT-SAENS'' SAW SONG "SWAN"!\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (41, 'Art is a jealous mistress.\n		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (42, 'Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.\n		-- Picasso\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (43, 'Art is anything you can get away with.\n		-- Marshall McLuhan.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (44, 'Art is either plagiarism or revolution.\n		-- Paul Gauguin\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (45, 'Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.\n		-- Chazal\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (46, 'Art is the tree of life.  Science is the tree of death.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (47, 'As a goatherd learns his trade by goat, so a writer learns his trade by wrote.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (48, 'Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a\nlamp-post how it feels about dogs.\n		-- Christopher Hampton\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (49, 'Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever\ndepths they were once able to plumb.\n		-- Stanley Kaufman\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (50, 'Authors are easy to get on with -- if you''re fond of children.\n		-- Michael Joseph, "Observer"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (51, 'Bahdges?  We don''t need no stinkin'' bahdges!\n		-- "The Treasure of Sierra Madre"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (52, 'Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent\nand original in your work.\n		-- Flaubert\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (53, 'Being a mime means never having to say you''re sorry.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (54, '"Being disintegrated makes me ve-ry an-gry!" <huff, huff>\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (55, 'Ben, why didn''t you tell me?\n		-- Luke Skywalker\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (56, '"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"\n		-- Time Bandits\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (57, 'Best Mistakes In Films\n	In his "Filmgoer''s Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists\nfour of the cinema''s greatest moments which you should get to see if at all\npossible.\n	In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a\nstreet; and the entire film crew is reflected in the shop window.\n	In "The Wrong Box", the roofs of Victorian London are emblazoned\nwith television aerials.\n	In "Decameron Nights", Louis Jourdain stands on the deck of his\nfourteenth century pirate ship; and a white lorry trundles down the hill\nin the background.\n	In "Viking Queen", set in the times of Boadicea, a wrist watch is\nclearly visible on one of the leading characters.\n		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (58, 'BS:	You remind me of a man.\nB:	What man?\nBS:	The man with the power.\nB:	What power?\nBS:	The power of voodoo.\nB:	Voodoo?\nBS:	You do.\nB:	Do what?\nBS:	Remind me of a man.\nB:	What man?\nBS:	The man with the power...\n		-- Cary Grant, "The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (59, 'Burnt Sienna.  That''s the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.\n		-- Ken Weaver\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (60, 'But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable\nnowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.\n		-- Leslie Stephen, "Sketches from Cambridge"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (61, 'But you shall not escape my iambics.\n		-- Gaius Valerius Catullus\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (62, 'Can''t act.  Slightly bald.  Also dances.\n		-- RKO executive, reacting to Fred Astaire''s screen test.\n		   Cerf/Navasky, "The Experts Speak"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (63, 'Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.\n		-- Kin Hubbard, "Abe Martin''s Sayings"\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (64, 'Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (65, 'Darth Vader!  Only you would be so bold!\n		-- Princess Leia Organa\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (66, 'Did you know that the voice tapes easily identify the Russian pilot\nthat shot down the Korean jet?  At one point he definitely states:\n\n	"Natasha!  First we shoot jet, then we go after moose and squirrel."\n\n		-- ihuxw!tommyo\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (67, 'Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (68, 'Don''t everyone thank me at once!\n		-- Han Solo\n');
INSERT INTO `fortune` VALUES (69, 'Dustin Farnum:	Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats!\nOliver Herford:	Wonderful!  Wonder

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